Life is a battle November 16, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update.Tags: Music, Video, Worries
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Okay, maybe I didn’t have to be THAT bitter in my last post, but I’m fed up! However, I suppose that’s a feeling I share with millions of other people who are also stuck somewhere and can’t find their way out.
Oh well, new day, new problems. Trying to book a ticket home to Sweden, but am completely unable to find anything within a decent price range. I just don’t know what to do. On one hand, I really can’t afford going home, but on the other hand I can’t bear the thought of not going home for Christmas. And it’s another point that can be added to my list of things I don’t know how to solve. It would of course be easy to just postpone it, and book it some other time. But then again, that would only push the problem to the future and make it even more expensive. AAH! What to do with this life?!?! Why does everything have to be so difficult and a struggle. Gosh, I remember having the same feeling in Australia, that whatever I did it was always difficult. Even crossing the street was a battle as the drive on the left side of the street…Hmm… after 3 years in UK I’m used to the left-side driving. So I guess I battled through it somehow, and I guess it’s exactly what I will have to do now again. During my 3rd year of uni I used to think that I was terribly fed up of studying, and that I will just have to wait and work, and eventually it will be over. Same thing again, wait and work, wait and apply and eventually this horrible recession will come to an end. After rain comes sunshine. It’s just has to be that way…. please!?
P.S 1; But surely I shouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life feeling that I will just work and wait until it’s over? That seems awful… :S
P.S 2; I think I need to find some kind of belief in some kind of God. Perhaps that would give me a sense of peace and feeling that everything has a purpose… For that reason I give you this song 
Lily Allen – Him
I just love Lily Allen’s pretty London-accent by the way
Happy birthday Pappa! September 25, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.Tags: Funny, Video
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yepp, it’s my dad’s b-day today! Yay for him! My family was eating cake earlier when I called… no, I didn’t feel jealous at all!
I’ve never got the time to write anymore! Not today either, so I’m just gonna post another video by the great Flight of The Conchords.. They’re great! Gotta love it!
My day September 19, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Just for fun.Tags: Pictures, Video
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Update: BF found an ad for a flat, we’ve got a viewing tomorrow. He managed to make us the first to view the flat, so if we’re really lucky we might be able to get it. We’ll see tomorrow, at least it’s something
We went out for a walk and found a TV just 20 metres down the road 
might not be the greatest thing in history but at least, again, it’s something
We decided to go for a walk, down to the river and feed some birds. Alright, alright! It might not be the coolest thing ever, but what would you do if you had no money, no friends and you’ve already spent the last 17 days with your BF. There’s only so much you can do, right? Anyway, no need to justify myself! If I want to feed some birds, I’ll feed some birds! What’s my problem?
We fed the birds from a bridge, because I don’t like the big birds and they were kind of attacking us… not really… but the bridge seemed safer 
As we were standing there some boys/men went into tiny canoes and… well… I don’t know what they were doing. The canoes very really small, too small to stretch out your legs and they seemed really unstable. It seemed like they were practising or something… What do you think they were doing?
Nobody puts baby in a corner September 15, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.Tags: Video
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Patrick Swayze is dead. I feel for his family and loved ones. Don’t know how old he was, but he must’ve been quite young… OK, it might not be the biggest deal in history (like, MJ’s death a couple of months ago clearly is bigger than this), but still. Who hasn’t seen Dirty Dancing and wished that you could dance like that? Or that you could make the jumps they do? I certainly have. I love that movie and I’ve got no idea of how many times I’ve seen it. It’s the ultimate chick flick!
Anyway… not gonna get all sentimental about that. Just wanted to write something but didn’t know what to write, haha
Here’s a video from the movie
Flight of the conchords – The best thing that ever came out of New Zealand ;) September 13, 2009
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I saw this one ages ago for the first time, but it’s just so good. So for all of you who haven’t seen it yet, enjoy!
Confusions August 30, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update, Rambling on....Tags: Confusions, Dance, Friends, Listmania, Music, Video
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I’ve been terrible at updating my blog lately! My deepest apologies! Or actually, my apologies aren’t that deep anyway. At first I didn’t feel like it, and then I haven’t been home. Simple and honest. Why make excuses? It’s my blog.
I got back from my country house tonight. My last visit of the year. On Wednesday I’m going back to UK for a nervous new start in a country that is familiar yet so unknown. I’m going to Oxford instead of Southampton and I feel both sad and excited. In one way I’m happy that I’m leaving because, by now, I’m getting quite fed up of applying for jobs I probably won’t get. Also, it will be nice to see my BF again. On the other hand, I’m moving to a new city where I don’t know anyone and the prospect of starting all over again actually isn’t that exciting. I’ve got loads of really good friends, and sometimes I wish I could take care of the good friendships I have. Another part of me is also completely petrified over the idea of moving in with my BF. But you only regret the things you never do, and I think I would regret it deeply if I didn’t try. Anyway, this is getting way too personal but now you know! I don’t see the point of pretending that I feel a 100% for everything I do. Only crazy people never doubt their choices so there’s certainly nothing wrong with feeling a bit scared I’m sure it will be great. I also really look forward to moving in together, it might be really fun! The idea of NOT sharing a flat with strangers also sounds like a dream come true so I’m really quite excited. The only thing that really, really bothers me is the fact that I don’t have a job, but that topic is so boring that I’m gonna end it here.
I spent Friday afternoon in Uppsala with my friend E. We were in the same class in UK and now we’re both done with out degrees and confused about the future. It was really good to see her, catch up and vent our problems a bit. I hope I will be able to keep good touch with her in the future. Usually, I don’t speak very much with my Swedish friends whilst in UK, mainly we keep in touch through e-mails or facebook. But I hope I will find a way to keep in touch with E over the phone. We’ve always got so much to say to each other and I wouldn’t want to miss half of it just because we can’t bother writing it down. I should really try to keep better in touch with all my Swedish friends. I will try my best. But there’s so much I want to do this autumn, I don’t know how I’m gonna find the time (and money) for all of it. Here’s a list:
- Find a full-time job, obviously
- Find a flat, also very very obvious and essential!
- Go to the gym
- Spend time with my BF
- Keep in touch with friends and family in Sweden
- Keep in touch with friends all over the world
- Get myself a drivings licence… I’m 25 God dammit! It’s about time!
- Find friends in Oxford
- Write a book
- Find a dance class… perhaps?
- Travel… as always
- Maybe find some time to do volunteer work
- Eat properly
- Go to London and Southampton to visit my friends there
Hmm.. yeah, that’s about it for now.. It’s actually quite a lot! Oh well.. it’s late and I’m not gonna be rambling on forever. Tomorrow I’m having dinner at H’s. It’s gonna be nice, but I feel a bit anxious as well. Don’t want to say good by again. My thoughts go back a forth all the time. One second I feel the urge to get away from Stockholm and everyone I know, I can feel so trapped and as if I’m choking here. Then when I think about the fact that I actually am leaving on Wednesday I feel so anxious about being alone and lost that feel like I want to cling on to anything that can hold me here. It’s tiring to always be like that. But I’ll probably always be like that, to a certain degree. I have never been able to make my mind up about any of life’s big decisions. Oh well oh well…
I couple of days ago I posted a video from So you think you can dance with this song. I really like it. It reminds me of something. Here’s another dance, but the full song in included. The song is called All I Want by Ahn Trio
Nothing and everything August 27, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update, Rambling on....Tags: Friends, Pictures, Shopping, Video
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What a strange day! I woke up late, had breakfast and all the things that come with it. Around 4-ish I went to a cheap hair dresser, I just wanted to cut the ends so I thought “how bad can it be?” I’ve been there a few weeks ago and it was good, nothing special but cheap and quick and my ends were cut. Today, I said exactly the same:
I: I just want to cut the ends, not my fringe ’cause I want to get rid of it and there’s not any need to cut my layers either
Hair dresser: So you want to even it all out?
I: Yes
Hair dresser: OK, so I won’t cut the layers or the fringe and will only even it out
I: Great
And the woman started cutting. I’m not entirely sure what when wrong, but she cut off 6 cm (roughly 2 inches)! So now I have an ugly in-between hair style. It’s not long, it’s not short. I had the same length when I was 13, I hated it then – and I sure don’t like it now! It’s the kind of hair cut that says I’m-so-scared-of-life-that-I-even-go-for-a-safe-hair-cut-kind-of-look. Dammit! Oh well, it will grow out again… While I’m at it I just want to point out that I’m sure it can look great on others, but I just don’t feel comfy in it. I’d rather go for it properly and cut it even shorter.. maybe next time.
After that I went into central Stockholm to meet up with J. It was really nice, I haven’t seen her in a long time and it was nice to get to catch up properly before I leave. We went to have a ‘fika’. I had a brie & salami sandwich and she had a salad. Yummy! I love brie & salami sandwiches and it’s something I always miss when I’m in UK. But imagine my surprise when I had eaten half and all realised that I was sharing it with a worm! Yes! A WORM! Sooo gross! I found it between two salad leaves. I’m so happy I didn’t eat it. I went to complain and although the staff apologised, they didn’t seem too surprised.
After that we went into a big apartment store and saw Carola! The average person might not know who Carola is, but I’m sure there is not ONE single Swede who doesn’t know who she is. She might be a bit crazy, but she’s a STAR! She had her major breakthrough in 1983 when she won the Swedish part of Eurovision song contest. Since then, she’s been in it 4 times, and she won the whole shebang in 1992. So seeing her was quite cool! We were giggling like little girls. After this J wanted to show me a perfume she really liked. It’s called Warm Cotton by Clean and I LOOOOVE IT! I had been smelling it all through our ‘fika’ and I though she used some really nice laundry powder but it turns out it was a perfume! Great for just everyday use. Who doesn’t want to smell clean? The producers describe it like this:
So pure, so fresh, it captures
the feeling of a fluffy, warm towel just pulled from the dryer or slipping into your favourite T-shirt line-dried in the summer sun. CLEAN Warm Cotton wraps you in notes of citrus, lilac and jasmine over a subtle but oh-so-sexy blend of amber and musk. A fresh, comforting, just-laundered scent.
I want it! Badly! A must have! It’s not that often that I fall so madly in love with a smell so maybe… yeah.. I need it! I hope J doesn’t mind IF I somehow get it one day…? Note to self: Get a job – NOW!
That’s quite a long post for today. Like an episode of Seinfeld, what was it about? N o t h i n g…. I’m gonna finish this post about nothing with Carola’s winning performance from 1983. You’ve gotta love it!
Dance is beauty August 27, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Just for fun.Tags: So You Think You Can Dance, Video
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I really, really hope Kayla wins So you think you can dance this year. Of course I could check the results online, but that ruins the fun of it. I think she’s fantastic. I especially love this routine when she’s paired with Brandon, as the judges said after their performance: Kayla was finally matched with someone at her level. Check out the video!
Details in the Fabric – Jason Mraz August 19, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.Tags: Music, Video
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Heard this song on spotify today (gotta love it!) and I thought it was really beautiful, melancolic and yet peaceful. The kind of song that makes you think that you have to go your own way, still it made me feel a bit sad and alone. But I like it.
Ellen with her Hawaii Chair August 12, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.Tags: Funny, Video
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I think this clip is the funniest clip I’ve ever seen! I have never before sat alone in my room and laughed so I cried. It’s a first for everything!
I can’t believe the stupidity of that chair, haha
