The dress is worth it! July 27, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.Tags: sugar cravings
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Oh gosh… here it comes! The sugar cravings! Dinner has been consumed, some extra cashew nuts to keep the cravings away, but here it comes! I hate it… How nice it would be with some sweets right now! When I was studying I used to keep a big bag of M&M’s in the kitchen. A couple of times a night I’d fil an egg cup and then go back to my room. A great way to lower my sugar intake and still keep my blood sugar high (I’m not saying that it’s healthy, but at least it’s better than a KitKat every 2 hours!)
Oooh.. how nice doesn’t these look? But well well.. it’s a nice dress! I’ll stay to green tea with lemon instead!
xx
Moving on… July 27, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.Tags: Pictures, sugar cravings
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I gave up on project “only-eat-sugar-during-the-weekend” while my BF was here. We were enjoying ourselves and having ‘fikas‘ (see June post) more or less every day. Actually, it was never less than every day. Nevermind, I thought that it was the way things should be. I hadn’t seen my BF for 2 months and when I eventually meet him I’m supposed to stay away from everything good in life? I think not!
However, I extended my break a bit longer than planned as I’ve been eating sweets every day since he left. It’s a week ago. Time for change! Also, I have my uni graduation in November and I decided to wear a dress that I bought in my first year. It’s my faaaavoooouurite dress. I absolutely loved it!! It’s from Coast, and I bought it on sale. The price had been £125 and I got it for £60! And I’ve only used it once. 
It’s not really the dress that you wear on any random occasion, so it’s been in my wardrobe for quite sometime now (although I take it out once in a while, try it on, sigh and become nostalgic while thinking back on my first year at uni). Anyway, I’ve got an occasion to use it! Graduation, here I come! I have to loose some weight though as I’ll be required to be very slim in order to pull that dress off. So starting now, I’m cutting down on the sugar. I’ll have 2 months at the gym to sort out the rest when I get back to UK. Aah! I miss university and my first year… those were the days…
Every time I think about my first year, or the room I used to live in my heart aches! I can’t help it! I just hope it doesn’t have to be like that for ever. I’m really quite scared that my life will never be as good as it used to be in Southampton. It’s probably quite naive to think like that. It’s like believing that your first boyfriend is the best man alive and nobody will ever be better than him. By the time you find your second boyfriend you’ll know that was never to be the case. Maybe it’s the same for me and Southampton. I just need to find my second “Southampton”. And perhaps the trick is the same as with finding a boyfriend – stop looking and love will fall at your feet. Gosh, I have no idea! But I know that I definitely want that dress to fit again!! 
On my way home from one of my best nights out in Southampton… and my favourite dress! 
(and my favourite shoes! I didn’t have the heart to throw them out when I was clearing out my student room!)
Forgive me, for I have sinned July 8, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update.Tags: NaBloPoMo09, sugar cravings
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My anti-sugar-during-the-week-campaign is going quite alright. I didn’t have any sweets on either Monday or Tuesday, but today I had a massive ice cream. Think it’s okay though. It was sunny and warm and I was out for a walk with a friend of mine. And anyway, it’s better to have an ice cream at 11 o’clock than tea and cookies late at night. I’m still very proud of not having anything both Monday and Tuesday. It’s nice to feel healthy I even start to like myself better! I eat normally, without feeling “guilty” for eating sweets. Sometimes I feel really guilty, fat and ugly when I eat sweets. It’s like I know I shouldn’t and I’m doing something ‘bad’. Note that my BMI is 20.3, so I’m perfectly normal. I shouldn’t have to feel so guilty. In fact, it’s a little bit crazy. So because I know that I shouldn’t feel guilty, I’m not gonna be annoyed with myself for eating that ice cream…. it was delicious!!
My brother is going to Estonia for a couple of days, so I’m gonna be all alone. Think I’m gonna clean the flat and enjoy having it the way I want it for a few days. I love being alone, because everything is the way I like it to be. But then I hate being alone in this flat because it’s really big and at night it gets dark and scary… Am I the only one who’s silly like that?
Gonna go clean now!
xxx
Who is ‘BMW’? July 4, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update, Rambling on....Tags: NaBloPoMo09, Pictures, sugar cravings
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Yesterday I went out on a walk with my brother. It was nice, I brought the camera so I can remember the marvels of the world Here comes the result:
Swan with her ugly ducklings
Tiny, tiny frog! I’ve got no idea how my brother manage to see it. It’s the same size as his nail!
After the walk we cooked a Quiche Lorraine with broccoli (which by definition doesn’t make it a real quiche Lorraine, but never mind), and then we had strawberries with cream for dessert. I thought to myself that strawberries are kind of like fruit, so it should be allowed. Then they were quite sour without sugar, so sprinkled some sugar on top. But that’s still less sugar than a cup of tea!
Nice huh? Hmm…makes me hungry just speaking about it. Maybe I should go and get myself some left-overs
Oh!! By the way, after I had written the post yesterday I thought to myself that I should read the ‘letters to the editor’ just to see if there was anything funny in it. And imagine my surprise when I found that ‘BMW’ had made another post!!
Apparently, BMW has the habit of sending his/hers letters via text messages to the editor. Here’s a rough translation:
Burqa, top-less and miniskirts are all creations by men. One can oppress women in several ways, but they don’t get it. BMW
Of course it can’t be easy to deliver messages via sms, but it really would help if BMW could use ALL of his/hers 160 characters! Who is it that doesn’t get that women can be oppressed in several ways? Is is the women who doesn’t get it? Or is it the oppressors? Does BMW suggest that women in the western world are just as oppressed as women in some middle eastern countries? That although the burqa oppresses by hiding women, the miniskirt oppresses by making women into sex-objects? It could be suggested, and if so, fair point!
But it still makes me wonder who BMW is? Is it a man or a woman? I’m guessing it’s a woman. But apart from that, why has she chosen to express her frustration with society in such a unclear manner? I will keep an eye on the newspaper in case further posts from BMW are published.
Shopping malls – invented by the devil July 3, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Confusions, Rambling on....Tags: NaBloPoMo09, Pictures, Polls, sugar cravings
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I love the reading the letters to the editors in newspapers. It’s always funny what people do with their time, such as writing letters to the editor. This one I found the other day in ‘DN’, one of Sweden’s (or at least Stockholm’s) biggest newspapers. Translated it means (roughly):
Shopping malls are not OK! They truly are the devil’s invention! Kills your soul! Detriments your intelligence! BMW
I just found it to be quite harsh. Like, kills your soul? How? Why? Please explain! Also the signature, ‘BMW’. Does it refer to the intials of the author’s names, or does it refer to the car manufacturor? If the latter is the case, how come shopping malls kill souls, but cars doesn’t? One really wishes that the person had developed his/hers argument, right?
I’m having one of these useless days where I’m doing nothing but yet making time pass. I really don’t know what to do with this day, but I’m not sure if I dare going shopping. Mainly because I have MASSIVE sugar cravings and I’m not sure if I will be able to resist all the temptations of the world. Also, if I do manage to resist the temptation, I have a vague feeling that I’ll be shopping to easy my need for sugar, and I really can’t afford it. I need to buy shoes though, but I don’t really feel like it. Maybe I should just leave everything but my keys at home and go for a walk… Hmm
I’ll let you know later
xxx
———- Update 10 minutes later ———-
I found this Poll-making tool and I want to try it out. So here comes my first poll ever!!
Sugar cravings June 24, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.Tags: sugar cravings
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I’m trying to stay off sugar, and I’m making it official by writing it on this blog. My aim is to stay off sugar during the week and then allowing myself some during the weekends. It’s going terribly bad and I just want some chocolate soooooooo bad right now! Just had dinner so it’s the post-food sugar craving.
I’m just about to admit to my quite extreme need of sugar. I try to stay off it every day. And I fail every day. But now, I’m gonna try to take it one day at the time. Also, as it’s written in every magazine, if I do eat some sugar I’m gonna try to refrain from thinking “oh well, today’s ruined so I’ll just start tomorrow instead”. To be honest, tomorrow never comes. So I think I just have to fight it craving by craving, rather than day by day. I’ve already had some ice cream with my brother so I guess today is kind of ruined. But right now my goal is to manage the evening-cravings, I managed yesterday so I know that it’s possible!!
A couple of months back I was on vacation in Morocco and I got some kind of food poisoning. Obviously it wasn’t nice at all, and don’t worry, I’m certainly not gonna go into details. But like most people, I neither wanted nor could eat anything. This went on for a couple of days but slowly I got my appetite back. But, for one week or two I didn’t have any cravings for sugar what so ever. And I found it to be such a relief! I’ve eaten sugar every day for I don’t know how long. Of course my need for sugar came back quickly, but it still showed me the relief of not always wanting sweets. I always want sugar. Constantly. Thanks mum and dad for the genes that somehow keep my slim anyway!
It probably started some time in school when I stopped eating proper meals and instead eating various types of sugar. Like candy bars, chocolate, bag of sweets and so on. In high school I would sometimes skip lunch completely and only eat a sweet called ‘Dextrosol’. Basically it’s only sugar. Being 16 years old I found it to be a logical solution to all my problems. I didn’t have to eat the horrendous school lunch, I managed to keep my concentration to a decent level (at least that’s what I thought. In hindsight I wonder if my poor grades tell a different story) and I didn’t gain any weight. In fact, I grew 3 cm taller that year, but lost 2 kg. Quite a weird fact which the school nurse reacted to. She told me that she would check up on me and she’d continue to keep an eye on my weight. Unfortunately I changed school and I guess that information never reached my new school nurse. I am really not trying to say that I’ve had any eating disorders or anything like that. Neither am I trying to tell my ‘own little horror story’ of my troubled life as a teenager ’cause this really isn’t the case. I probably I was an unusually healthy teenager and I didn’t have more problems than anyone else. I just didn’t like the school lunch and after a while it was sort of my ‘thing’ not to have lunch. The childish 16-year old probably enjoyed the attention of people asking me why I didn’t eat. So really, no sad story here! I’m just trying to explain why I have such cravings for sugar and trying to explain to myself where I went wrong. It’s really not a case of my parents not giving me proper food at home as I’ve always had breakfast and proper dinner. I guess lunch just wasn’t my thing. But sugar was. And still is. However, my aim with this post was to write until this craving subsided.
Mission completed!
(Am I eating sweets on Saturday or what!?!)
