Why shower when there’s perfume? January 24, 2010
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update.3 comments
Does anyone remember that perfume I was talking about some months back? (yes, Johanna, I know you do! 
) It’s called Warm cotton, made by CLEAN. Basically, it smells like newly washed, crisp cotton sheets. Well, I got it! FINALLY!! After all that sneaking into perfume shops here and there to have a free spray, I finally got it!
How? Simple. I got it as a late christmas gift from my boyfriend. After much hard work, and deliveries that never showed up, he
managed to get it (2 months after original delivery!). So I’m in heaven! I sprayed some on me before we went out for dinner with some his class-mates and I sprayed some more now when I got home. It smells sooooooo nice!
Apart from that I don’t have much fun to add. I still work in retail and I still hate it. I didn’t get accepted to the conference I submitted an abstract to (can’t remember if I mentioned that before). And my job prospects are very limited as it looks at the moment. So all in all, nothing much to report.
BUT, I went to Norway for a couple of days last week to celebrate my grandmother’s 90th birthday, impressive! It was nice to see everyone. -18 degrees Celsius! Very cold! Might post some pictures later on 
Oh, and I will continue having showers
xoxo
YouTube – Cute lemur slow loris January 13, 2010
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
I know there hasn’t been much updating lately. Truth is, nothing of interest is happening and I rarely feel like posting anything… thus, no posts. Anyway, just wanted to share this little lemur with you guys cause it’s just sooooooooooo cute! Wrong to have as a pet, but still… would be nice to have one! Haha
xxx
Preparing for Christmas December 7, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update.Tags: Work
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Christmas is on its way and for the first time in years I feel a bit of christmas spirit. The past 3 years I’ve been so busy writing essays so I didn’t use to have the time to look forward to christmas. Sometimes Christmas and going to Sweden felt like just another thing that ‘had to be done’. I used to start packing the same day as I left for Sweden, and not really realising that I was actually going home until I was on the plane, or at the airport in Sweden at it’s worse. But this year I can’t wait to go home and celebrate christmas. I look forward to spending time with friends and family and eating and eating and eating.
I brough out my christmas decorations last weekend but quickly realised that although they gave a bit of christmas atmosphere in my tiny room in Southampton, they didn’t do much in this flat. In fact it looked a bit sad with a tiny, tiny christmas tree in the corner. So I bought us a fairly big Poinsettia [Julstjärna, röd blomma.. Swedish translation], pressed cloves into oranges, tied a red ribbon around and put up around the flat and finally, I made a gingerbread house!! whoop whoop! Me and my brother used to make one (almost) every year. I found a ready-baked-but-assemble-it-on-your-own-kit in IKEA which the BF and I decorated and put together today. Now all I need to do is to pour myself some mulled wine and eat some cakes and let christmas come to me.
….apart from buying christmas gifts though
Oh I almost forgot to tell you! Ok, it might not be the biggest deal ever, but I found this tiny little incident pretty fascinating.
Basically, my colleague got promoted to be the Store manager. Great for her, and probably for everyone else as she’s doing quite well, at least in my opinion. Anyway, as she knows what it’s like to work in this shop she tried to negotiate all sales assistants’ salaries with the head office. I suppose she tried to argue that it’s impossible to run a shop where nobody wants to work. Also, it’s a waste of time and money to train new staff all the time. So we got an offer for a raise from the head office! Wow! Amazing! Who would’ve thought!? So at the moment we all earn minimum salary, which is £5.80/hour. The head office proposed us £6.10/hour, but without paid lunch break. And if we work 9 hours we would HAVE to take an hour break…. hmm… ok… that’s an increase of 30p/hour. That’s not very much, but at least it something, right? Well actually it’s not. At the end of the day we would earn less money than what we do now! If I work 9 hours for £5.80, then I make £52.20. But if I work 9 hours for £6.10, but without pay during my 1 hour break then I only make £48.80!! How rude, cheeky, disrespectful and a complete pisstake is that! They can’t have very high opinions of their staff if they think that we can’t use a simple calculator. I was completely amazed but this behaviour. I couldn’t help but laugh. I think I’ve reached a new level of ‘fed-upness’ at my work. I think I somehow stopped being surprised and just started to kind of marvel (not sure if that’s the word I’m looking for) at the situation. Both of the treatment of staff and customers. It’s fascinating. Maybe I could write a Ph.D on the subject; “The subtle slavery in the UK: A qualitative analysis of poor working conditions in retail.”
Cheerios
Southampton again November 26, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update.Tags: Academia
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News, news, news! After my graduation ceremony I got in touch with one of my old lecturers, one thing led to another and now she and my dissertation supervisor are going to help me present/publish my dissertation! How awesome is that! Not that I expect that anyone would actually want to publish it, but it’s nice that people are even recognizing the possibility! So yesterday I went down to Southampton again (I’ve been down there like every 2nd week lately! haha) to attend a research seminar this lecturer was going to hold.Funnily enough, my supervisor showed up as well by coincidence. The seminar in itself was nice because I finally got some intellectual stimulation, which I’ve missed a lot. After the seminar there was a small social gathering (don’t know what else to call it) where I got the chance to network a little bit. Emphasis should be on a little bit, but I did get to meet up with this lecturer and my supervisor again and we developed a small ‘action plan’ which involved me writing up an abstract for the BPS Annual Conference. I need to submit it on Monday to have the chance to attend this conference in April with a poster presentation. It would be SO exciting if I managed to get on there, but I’m not gonna get my hopes up too much. I think it’s nice to submit it and the fact that I got a good mark, there’s not much more to it really.
Anyway, I should get back to my abstract… Just wanted to post a tiny little update
xoxo
My day off November 20, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update.Tags: Books, Pictures
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Good evening!
I’ve been off work today, which always is a blessing. I spent my day without doing much really. I stayed in bed until noon (aah), I was reading and drifting in and out of sleep… got to love that! At the moment I’m reading a book called Girls of Riyadh. It’s a very nice and girl book, like some kind of arabic version of Gossip girl, but a book. Basically, it a girl who sends out an email every friday, revealing the secrets going on with four upper-class Saudi girls. How they try to look for love and enjoy life, at the same time as conforming to the traditions of their country. I wouldn’t say it’s interesting, eye-opening or even controversial. It’s just a girly book in a slightly different setting. And the setting creates certain complications… oh well. That’s not what I sat down t write about.
In the afternoon I went into town to run a few errands before meeting with the BF around 6-ish. It’s late night shopping on Thursdays, so we spent a really nice evening out. We even went to an Italian restaurant for some dinner. And after dinner we realised that Debenhams had some kind of even so they were open until midnight, so we went in there and shopped a bit as well. They had lots of great offers. Amongst them we found a pair of pillows for £8. I hope they’re gonna be nice because the pillows we have at the moment aren’t really the greatest – and sleeping well makes such a difference to the satisfaction of life! At least it does to me…
..oh God, this post is boring!
I used the bake machine!! I’ve told you that my parents got me a bread machine as a graduation gift? No? Yes? Anyway, they did! First I used it a couple of evenings ago with a simple bread mix, I figured that I’d start of with something simple… and it was! Oh am I happy or what?! I’ve hated the English bread for some 3 years now, and FINALLY!! I have an option to toast! My parents always tried to make sure I had breakfast while growing up, so having breakfast is pretty essential to me. But the longer I’ve stayed in this country, the more often have I skipped breakfast. I hate toast! It’s not bread! Why can’t they make bread that doesn’t have to be toasted? Surely, toast can be nice once in a while, but every day? Thank god for the bread maker!
So yesterday night I decided to be a bit more bold in my bread making, so I mixed my own ingredients and set the timer so I would get the bread when I woke up. I wasn’t entirely sure of how to mix the ingredients, but I figured I’d just have to try my way.
Woke up this morning around 9-ish from a beeping bread-machine. Stumbled out in the kitchen to turn it off. I vaguely remember taking the bread out of the machine and onto a tray. And then went back to bed. I thought the bread had turned out really bad, because it was only half the size as the last one. But I realised (a couple of hours later when I had woken up) that I only had half of the ingredients, and the bread was actually really nice. It’s a bit heavy, but OK. I’m happy. The bread maker can also make just dough, jam or cakes so I’m sure it’s gonna bring me lots of happiness in the future. All I need now is lots of seeds and flour
I’ve been promising pictures for quite some time now, so here’s a selection from the last couple of weeks…
Bread no. 1
Bread no. 2
“Assemblying” the mirror 
Graduating
I shall leave you and love you now
Good night
Life is a battle November 16, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update.Tags: Music, Video, Worries
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Okay, maybe I didn’t have to be THAT bitter in my last post, but I’m fed up! However, I suppose that’s a feeling I share with millions of other people who are also stuck somewhere and can’t find their way out.
Oh well, new day, new problems. Trying to book a ticket home to Sweden, but am completely unable to find anything within a decent price range. I just don’t know what to do. On one hand, I really can’t afford going home, but on the other hand I can’t bear the thought of not going home for Christmas. And it’s another point that can be added to my list of things I don’t know how to solve. It would of course be easy to just postpone it, and book it some other time. But then again, that would only push the problem to the future and make it even more expensive. AAH! What to do with this life?!?! Why does everything have to be so difficult and a struggle. Gosh, I remember having the same feeling in Australia, that whatever I did it was always difficult. Even crossing the street was a battle as the drive on the left side of the street…Hmm… after 3 years in UK I’m used to the left-side driving. So I guess I battled through it somehow, and I guess it’s exactly what I will have to do now again. During my 3rd year of uni I used to think that I was terribly fed up of studying, and that I will just have to wait and work, and eventually it will be over. Same thing again, wait and work, wait and apply and eventually this horrible recession will come to an end. After rain comes sunshine. It’s just has to be that way…. please!?
P.S 1; But surely I shouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life feeling that I will just work and wait until it’s over? That seems awful… :S
P.S 2; I think I need to find some kind of belief in some kind of God. Perhaps that would give me a sense of peace and feeling that everything has a purpose… For that reason I give you this song
Lily Allen – Him
I just love Lily Allen’s pretty London-accent by the way
Bitter and resentful November 15, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update, Rambling on....Tags: Work
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Blogging, blogging, blogging… I feel like I write 3 posts a day in my head, but never actually write anything down. As my job isn’t very intellectually stimulating (haha!), I’ve got loads of time to think about things at work. Now, I don’t have that much to think about, my thoughts mainly surround subjects like getting another job, how to get more money or what on earth I am doing there. Or, of course, what I’m gonna eat for lunch/dinner.
So that leaves me with a lot of time for mental blog-posting, but unfortunately, very little time for actual blog posting. Not only am I usually quite busy during the evenings (cooking, washing up, laundry, emails, phone calls etc…) but I never really know what to write once I get here.
But perhaps I don’t need to write anything interesting at all..? Hmm… well.. my day! I started work at 9 am, opened the shop. It was cold. I didn’t have time to eat breakfast. I went to bed late so I hadn’t slept enough. I’ve felt ill for the past couple of days and the lack of sleep/food/warmth didn’t help.
Around 11-ish I went over to our other shop (the company owns two different shops in Oxford, and sometimes we swap staff in order to help each other out). I’ve been there before, but only to cover over lunch breaks and stuff like that, but today I was there for more or less the whole day. This shop is much smaller than ours which was pretty boring as there wasn’t a lot to do (or perhaps I just didn’t know what to do as I’m “new”). However, there are perks! Now, this perks might not seem that great for anyone with a real job, but I suppose it does give a good picture of how shitty it is to work in the other place. And perhaps I can spread some compassion amongst those of you who are rude to people working in customer service, sales assistants and the likes….
To start with, this shop is inside a shopping mall. That means that it’s not cold. We’re not allowed to have the doors closed (even though they’re normal glass doors… weird!) so in the shop where I usually work it gets freeeeeeezing cold even though we’ve got the heaters on all day, and usually I wear 2-3 layers of clothing (scarf not included!). The good thing with working in an environment that is warmer than 17-18°C is that I don’t have to be ill all the time.
Second, because this shop is so small, things are more organised and not at messy as in ours. This is actually just a minor perk as, to be honest, I don’t give a rat’s ass.
Third, they have a microwave! Yes! That means that you can bring food and heat it up, rather than buying an expensive sandwich every day.
Fourth,they have tea in the staff room! Of course a break of more than 30 minutes might be needed to be able to use this, but at least someone has tried to make an effort for their staff!
Fifth, they have a table and two chairs in the staff room!! AMAZING! They don’t expect their staff to sit on the cold floor and eat their cold food like dogs. Nice!
Oh well, doesn’t really make a difference to me as I’ll be back in my shitty shop tomorrow. Yes I’m fed up. I didn’t study my ass off to sit on the floor, eat cold food, have a cold every 3rd or 4th week and get minimum wage.
I am fed up. I deserve better than this.
Going to bed early. Maybe my cold will disappear until tomorrow. Perhaps I will post a picture some day.
Bits and bobs November 12, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update, Rambling on....Tags: Books, Shopping
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I haven’t updated my blog in aaaages! Why? Mainly because there’s not much to say. Or actually, there are a couple of things here and there I could mention.
- I’ve got myself a desk! I bought it off ebay as a pick-up item, but the seller agreed to deliver it to me (he lives in Oxford). So for just £8 I got myself a really nice desk delivered to my door… cheaper than a pizza delivery!
- I went to the library yesterday. Borrowed Notes From The Underground by Fyodor Dostojevsky (I need to cultivate myself a bit, widen my horizons and challenge my mind) and another book called Girls of Riyadh which I don’t know much about. I think it’s about a couple of girls attending university in Saudi Arabia and their struggle to juggle traditional demands and their willingness to experience life… or something like that… Not sure. But I really look forward to getting into reading again. It’s something I’ve missed whilst at uni and something I’ve been craving for since arriving in Oxford, but simply haven’t had the time to. But now when we’ve started to settle in I hope to get some time over for rest and personal growth… haha… how pretentious does that sound!
- The BF ordered a desk from argos which we got delivered yesterday and I assembled. Lots of fun!
- I forgot to write a book review of the latest book I finished: Why is sex fun? The evolution of human sexuality, by Jared Diamond. It is actually a really, really interesting book. My cousin gave it to me yeeaars ago and I always found it a weird book to give to a cousin who is 12 years younger than you, but I tried to read it. I could see topics that were really interesting, but I think the book was too dry and academic for me back then. However, after having done 3 years at an English university I decided to give it another go. And I just couldn’t put it down! It was soooo interesting. During my last semester at uni I took a unit called the Psychology of Intimate Relationships. Basically, the unit looked at how the evolution has shaped the development of human intimate relationships. The basic assumption is that because the human child is so vulnerable at birth it has been essential for humans to be in couples to be able to raise their children. Now of course this might not be true anymore, but today’s society does not affect our genetic basis that evolved thousands of years ago. Anyhow, because being two makes such a difference to our offspring’s chance of survival, it has been argued that humans have developed several mechanisms that help us connect with another human being, and thus helps us maintain relationships. Some of these mechanisms are called attraction, attachment, commitment, jealousy and of course, love.
So what does this have to do with this book by Jared Diamond? Well basically the unit looked at the psychological consequences of our children’s vulnerability. This book looked at almost the same thing, but from a physiological perspective. How come our sexuality has evolved into something so very different from other animals? How come women reach menopause when other female animals don’t? And why on earth does men have nipples? It is really difficult, and complicated to explain, but whilst reading the whole book I had the feeling that I had studied all of these topics at uni, while is reality I hadn’t. But I realised at the end of the book that it was because both the book and the topic did in fact look at something very similar, but one from a psychological perspective and the other from a physiological. I really, really enjoyed reading the book and can recommend it to anyone who wants to understand human behaviour and relationships more. - We’re waiting for a TV. My BF ordered one, it was supposed to be delivered today, but it wasn’t. Great disappointment. Oh well. Perhaps tomorrow.
Clearly, there were a couple of things I could post! The bed is calling for me!
xoxox
Graduation, Nov 2009 November 5, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
Back in Oxford again. I had my graduation ceremony yesterday which was very stressful, but nice in the end. I realised that I had forgotten half of the things I needed so I was stressing out quite a bit before, as well as worrying about tripping. The ceremony in itself was short but nice. I thought it would take 1½-2 hours but all in all it only took one hour, which was just about enough. I think these formal event can get quite dull and long-winded but this was good. Overall I was really happy to be there and I’ve had a good couple of days. It is a once-in-a-lifetime event, unless I do a Master. The main guy who was speaking (God knows who all these men in suits and funny hats are) started by saying that for another hour or so we should forget all the troubles out in the world and just focus on the student’s achievements. Although I kept coming back to thoughts about the recession when they were speaking about all the wonderful things we will go on to do, it was still nice that they didn’t bring that up. I am sure I’m not the only one in there who is fed up of hearing of how graduates this year have to fight harder than ever before, have to stay more focused, motivated and know just exactly what to do at every moment. AH! My head is about to explode with all that stuff, so it was nice that they just ignored that for a little while.
The ceremony also made me think of how hard I worked, it made me think of all the hours in the library and all the sleepless nights, the anxiety and the tears. Especially the tears. No need to pretend there weren’t any. I’d say that coming alone to UK to study has probably been the hardest things I’ve ever done. But looking back, it has filled me with a sense of pride, confidence and self-fullfilment. In my first year I used to feel quite surprised that I was even here, often thinking to myself that moving abroad is really nothing someone like me would do. I used to think that it felt like I had jumped off a cliff and discovered that I can fly. And in a sense that’s exactly what I did, I left everything behind, faced my greatest fears and jumped… and discovered that I didn’t fall to the ground. Instead I discovered that I could do quite well on my own. My analogy about the cliff-jumping used to involve the thought of turning around and looking back at the cliff. I used to think that I really missed that cliff, that I was lucky to come from such a good “cliff”, but still I wanted to use my wings and continue to fly. Sometimes it’s been stormy but I’ve continued on my wings and somehow 3 years have passed, and I am just fine. I am terribly proud of what I’ve done over the past years. I’ve got no idea whether people can tell or not, but I’ve changed a lot on the inside. I’ve gained a lot more self-belief and trust in my own judgement. In fact, I feel like a completely different person now as compared to then.
All of these things were rushing through my head as I saw my fellow classmates walk across the stage. Of course at the very moment I was crossing the stage myself I was mainly quite stressed out and focused on what to do. But sitting down in my chair again I felt happy and proud. I’m not sure I’ve ever really felt like I had something concrete to be proud of, so that was a great feeling.
Anyway, I’m gonna wrap this up now. It’s back to work tomorrow. I’ve added two videos below, one is of me walking across the stage (my wonderful BF surprised me with this video when I got back today) and the other one is one of my favourite songs. I’ve posted it before but I just think that it deserves another posting, especially considering the topic.
Take care. Lots of love.
My family arrived today! November 1, 2009
Posted by confusedsince1984 in Daily update.Tags: Family, Graduation week 2009
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I’m off from work today! Yay! In fact, I’m not working until Thursday which seems to be an eternity away at the moment. My parents and brother came to visit today. We started by drinking some tea at home and then we went into town and had a walk around. We didn’t really do much, but I showed them the shop where I’m working (my colleagues was pretty surprised to see me there again), we had a look at Christ church collage and the Radcliffe Camera (both only from the outside) and just walked around. Now they’re checking into a hotel nearby and they’ll be here to pick me up in 10 minutes or so. It’s really nice to have them here. Tomorrow we’re going to Southampton because I’m graduating on Tuesday! Hurrah for me! It’s gonna be fun. My family are only staying one night in Southampton before they get back to Sweden, but I’m staying two. I think it’s quite a nice arrangement. That way I’ll spend some time with my family first and then have some time to catch up with a friend or two. The BF is swamped with work so he won’t be joining in on any of the fun. It’s a pity, but obviously uni has to come first.
Anyway, I have to go. I’ll try to update the blog with a few pictures in a couple of days.
Cheerios!
